Mandy,



You are exactly right, well said. No one truly understands how we feel, unless they have gone through this terrible loss.



I hope you begin to feel some peace and comfort and know they are always with us in spirit.

this bonus

"The death of someone we love is not the greatest loss........The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we go on living"

I recently lost my older brother (by three years) to suicide 3 weeks ago tomorrow (the 26). I have gotten a tattoo in his memory (a blue bird with a halo and the word free underneath). I'm trying to find a group to talk to, but can't find one that deals mainly with siblings. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't go outside at night and talk to the stars in the sky. I'm not upset or mad at him for ending his life, I think I mainly feel quilty because we didn't stay close or keep in touch through the years and the 1000 miles seperating us. I have my good days and I have my bad days. The vision of him hanging isn't as stron as it was 2 weeks ago. I'm just not sure what to do next, I don't want another younger sister going through this and having to tell her child where their uncle is. Sorry, I ramble on from time to time and guess this was just one of those times. I guess I'd just like someone to talk to about this who knows what it's like as well.

I took part in the Out of the Darkness Overnight Walk in NYC June 7th. It was so empowering, so mentally and spiritually uplifting for me. My brother Warren took his life in January this year. My sister Mandy posts here too - she lives in South Africa and I in NJ - - we are struggling to come to terms with the loss of our brother. This healing is a process and I have to agree with a lot of the posts I have read here, I don't think I will ever see life quite the same again after his death. But I am determined to remember his light and spirit, and to understand and to grow through this heartache and grief. It has certainly changed the way I perceive my world and the people in it. I take nothing for granted anymore. But the struggle and the hurt is so real - - my heart goes out to you all. do you work and reach out if you need to - - we all know how this feels.

My big brother Joey commited suicide 9 months ago by slitting his throat.. There isnt a day that goes by that i dont think about him. Im getteing a tattoo in honor of him (he was a tattoo arist). reading some of these post helps me realize that im not alone with sibling survivng.

Joey, you were an amazing brother and we all love and miss you. The world lost a special person.

To everyone else here; STAY STRONG! The nperson you lost is so special and loved and just know that they will always be there for you as lobg as you keep them close to your heart.

Take care xoxoxo- jamie s.

this bonus

To honour my brother Warren's life, I am trying to start a movement or foundation in South Africa that will bring awareness to depression and suicide. I would like to minimise (since I cannot eliminate) the stigma attached to suicide over here so that those needing help are not embarrassed to reach out and so that surviving family members do not have to grieve in silence for fear of judgement. Does anyone have any ideas, websites or resources I may refer to. This is a huge undertaking and I am (with the help of a friend affected by suicide too) at the very beginning stages of planning and co-ordinating.



Thank you and bless you all.

Mandy

student yes frog white mail white

After reading a few of the entries, I would like to offer encouragement, prayer, and help for any sibling that needs a buddy to talk to. I too have lost a brother and a father to suicide. They say it runs in the family, but ya know, it does not have too. My story is not unique, my path through the grief and through the ongoing healing process may be. Email me and I will answer all of questions if I can, or just be a sounding board. I also have a myspace with my story that I am writing. It is all a work in progress, as is healing. My father died in 1994 and my brother in 2002. God Bless; and I will not shove religion down anyones throat unless they want to talk about the biblical end of suicide and what God wants for you.